The values we are raised with can have a bigger effect on us than we know. The side to which always part our hair, whether or not we use the bunny ears technique to tie our shoes—these small details seem insignificant but become a part of us we can’t shake well into our adult lives. If such minuscule and seemingly insignificant habits are so ingrained into our beings, there’s no telling how moral values affect us in ways we may not even notice. The values you learn at home stay with you, no matter how many years it has been since you’ve moved out.
Without being immodest, all I can say is my catholic guilt has always made it harder for me to feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Catholic guilt is a pretty generally understood subject. You do something, you feel bad about it, and you repent. For most, it’s a pretty cut-and-dry subject, pay your dues and you’ll feel better about what you’ve done wrong. But what entails what’s wrong? Yes, in a biblical sense it’s easy to decipher such disparities, but the truth is, if you’re a girl, the idea of “wrong” can mean something very different.
We see it all the time in pop culture. Catholic school girls are “slutty” and rebel from their parents. We could just write this stereotype off as another character trope that movies and TV shows use to progress a storyline, or we could dissect why this notion is so widely accepted: the rigidity and shame of the catholic institution is repressive solely for young girls, driving them to react in the opposite way of what is expected of them. Let’s face it, the forbidden is exciting, but our livelihood shouldn’t be based off of escapist fantasies.
In 2013, Time Magazine published an article based on a poll by U.K. market-research firm YouGov that Catholic guilt and sexuality was just a myth. The conclusion was that “Catholics are no more likely to feel guilty about sex than many other religious people”. I have no doubt this is true, however, I can’t help but wonder what the results would be if the poll was given to teenage girls rather than adults of all genders.
I guess it’s normal for religious devotion to go with modesty and piety, but to what extent? On more than one occasion, the priest at my church took it upon himself to make an announcement that girls should dress more modestly during mass: “No bare shoulders, no short skirts, dresses, or shorts”. I wasn’t phased. I had always been taught about proper decorum in clothing, and as someone with a great interest in fashion, I never questioned these rules. But on this particular occasion, I realized how absolutely ridiculous it was that girls needed to worry about being objectified and ogled in a place of worship. It just did not make sense, but of course no one was telling the men “stop staring at girls in church”.
The truth is that girls will always be more reluctant to free themselves in any way that may be seen as sexual when being raised in an environment based on catholic values. With the religion based on idolizing a woman of purity, it is only expected that the girls who practice it must live up to such standards. While the same cannot be said for boys.
The fight against the pressure of catholic guilt isn’t one to gain sex, but one to help girls feel like they are not over-sexualized objects. When girls reach a consenting age, they should feel comfortable enough in their own bodies and make their own decisions regarding it.
What I hope young girls of all faiths, or no faith, will realize is that it’s okay to be comfortable in your body. You can show skin or you can choose not to. It’s your prerogative whether or not these are the choices you would like to make. Don’t let yourself be trapped by an institution that does not have your best interests in mind, because of all the values we take with us in life, double standards can be the hardest to shake.
