The holidays can be tough—what’s tougher than dodging judgmental glances directed at your new tattoo?

So you’re finally back home after six months of space and freedom. Or maybe you never left. Either way, the holiday season is always filled with lots of pushy extended family members asking personal questions you just aren’t keen on answering. Here’s our take on how to make things slightly less awkward.

1. Give the same generic response: From work troubles to changes in our appearance, let’s face it—unless we bring it up ourselves, these are not topics we want to be talking about! So my advice is deflect, deflect, deflect. Give the same standard spiel with just enough information to get the older cousins off your back, but not too much so that you feel uncomfortable. The shorter the answer, the quicker you can move onto the rarity that is home cooked meals.

2. Think about the answer you’re going to give beforehand: Similar to keeping it short and sweet, when you know what you’re going to say, there’s no room to flounder. Obviously every family is different, and so is every person. By telling them what they want to hear in a manner they understand, you can avoid the awkward and frankly unsettling looks of disapproval.

3. Just say fuck it, smile, and move on!: Probably the most effective approach would be to simply not care. Tell the truth or don’t! Tell them want they want to hear or throw them off with something that you know will leave their jaws on the floor. Truly not caring about what others may think of the state of your life is probably easier said than done. But it’s doable. Having the option to *metaphorically* say “fuck it” is probably what gets me through most of my family functions. 

No matter how well-meaning some questions and comments might be, they just don’t sit well. Whether it’s about looks, weight, relationships, or career quips, maybe we should be directing our attention to the question-askers instead. Some of us just want to collect our presents in peace.

Art by Alyssa Kissoondath